Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Before I start writing away and forget to say this: HAPPY THANKSGIVING, YALL :) Make sure you have an attitude of gratitude this week. You should at all times, but you know what I mean.

One thing that I’m eternally grateful for would have to be my parent’s hardheaded-ness. I remember my senior year when it came time for me to make college plans how tense it got in our home. I had a boyfriend there at home and I lived practically within walking distance of my whole family; I was scared to leave and didn’t have any intent on saying goodbye.To anyone. There was one night when I was trying to convince mom and dad to let me move to Tallahassee and they flat out said “Katie, we will not be paying for school or anything unless you go to Idaho.” UHH. I was sittin’ there like “You wouldn't even let me have a job in high school so I literally have no $$$ to my name to support myself. Is this a joke?!?” It’s safe to say I probably didn’t talk to them for a week. I was so angry. I felt they weren't allowing me to make my own decision about my life and that they were taking the fun out of this new time in my life.

Now that I’m a few years older, not AS stubborn and on a mission learning the roles in a family I understand. Regardless of whether or not my parents knew it at the time—they were simply following a prompting from Heavenly Father by making me go there. I’m sure it was NOT easy layin’ down the law like that to me because they knew me and how I’d react. But they stood their ground.

I am convinced that had I not been forced to move to Idaho I would have never even considered a mission. I would still be back home, doing the same ole same ole high school crap. Who knows! I could still be in the same relationship, talking about the same things, hanging out with the same people and making the same mistakes. Instead though, I was out in Idaho when they made the age change for girls going on a mission, not around my distractions/temptations anymore which gave me room to figure some things out for myself. Now, here I am on a mission wondering what in the world I would do without it and the experiences it’s brought me. I am thankful, oh so thankful, for good parents who knew what would be best for me.

Festive lights in our room

Some little things I’m grateful for: Mormon Messages, warm showers, my stuffed animal frog (ribbert..my baby!!!), the Spirit, friends/family who email every single week, crazy socks, when people wave back to me :) chocolate, painted nails, rain, a house that's cold at night, laughter, compliments, chapstick, scruffy faces (they remind me of my daddy), hugs-n-lots of lovin', that my piano skills are improving, technology, the name tag that I get to wake up and wear every day right now, earrings, music, when elderly people tell me their love stories <3 a sense of humor, crossfit workouts, service, GREEN (which I haven't lived around in 7 months now haha) clouds, 1Direction, journal keepings, goals, pictures, memories, my testimony, my future family (who I pray for daily), sleeping in boys clothes, members who do missionary work and FRECKLES :))

1D Cup

The list could go on and on for forever, but that's all I have time for right now :) 

Saturday was probably the craziest day of the week. There was a baptism going on that afternoon at 12 that we had invited some investigators to. Well, last minute the member we had lined up to give them rides got sick so we had to start calling around. We literally spent ALL of our studies calling people. We had an appointment at 10:15 and by the time we left we were 1. Late. (I can’t stand being late :( just a little FYI) 2. Had called 19 people already that said they could NOT give them a ride. We get to our appointment and we just were praying and praying that everything would work out. We were especially nervous because we were going to visit ‘talkers’ - if you’re pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down…we knew by the time we got out it would be 11:15 with no time to figure out the ride deal.

We get up to our appointments door and the little old lady was in such bad shape that she legit didn't have the strength to even unlock the door for us to come in!! It was really sad…but a HUGE blessing because we got to go help our investigator get ready to come and I’m proud to announce we found a ride. Sure, it was 26 people and 39 phone calls later..but indeed they got rides. The member that did it was the one we did service for at the Frozen birthday party a few weeks ago. WOW. I love how stuff like that always come around back to ya :) I love how Heavenly Father provided a way for everything to work out because He wanted some of His children there at that baptism feeling the spirit.

It was a really cool baptism. Both of the girls giving talks gave them via skype because they were in different states. You know, technology can be a real evil thing at times—but it also can be such a beautiful blessing. Technology was the reason two girls who gave their friend a Book of Mormon 5 years ago were able to attend/watch/participate in such a sacred experience even across the country. I love it.  

I am currently soakin' up the Holiday season like none other. I can't even tell you how happy Christmas time/music makes me! Michael Buble's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" came on the other day in some store and I about died. I remember when Dakota and I would turn that on (at all times in the year) and just sing our little hearts out. Boy, the day will soon come when I'll be home and we will be jammin' out to it again...as we are on our way to the beach...in the summer...and it will be glorious.

Ok, eat your weight in food this week for me. Enjoy being able take a nap afterwords, as well. LOVE YALL TOO TOO TOO TOO MUCH.  

-hugs-

Sister Toolan

The ladies dog we live with who waits on us at the window daily

Van Heel and Toolan get to stay in Apple Valley for another 6 weeks

As I’m sure most of you already know, I am staying in the Village ward another transfer with Sister Van Heel!! Whoop whoop. Alright, on to business. Little warning before you start reading this though: it could be a doozy. We had a ton of great things happen this week and I just have GOT to let you know!

On Friday we had a special Zone Conference where Elder Golden (of the area 70) and his wife came and talked to/trained us. When we have conferences like this we are always asked to ‘prepare for it’. Luckily, I had an incredible Zone Leader in Hesperia that explained to us the way we can ‘prepare’ is by going with a question that we need answered in our heart. I totally forgot all about that until Thursday night when I was lying in bed. 

Well, Sister Golden got up to talk to us and let us know at the very beginning that just yesterday when she was getting to train the missionaries in our mission down in the Valley she talked all on ‘enduring the end’. She told us, however, that she was prompted to say this: You are SO important to Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows you’re working hard and trying your best. You are so very important to him. 

Zone Conference

She literally talked to us about this for a good 20 mins. I sat in complete awe. Little did she know that the prayer I had come to that meeting with in my heart was this: Is Heavenly Father proud of me? How does He feel about me right now? I need to know He isn’t disappointed in me. WOW. I know that obviously there were more people there than just me that needed to hear the words she spoke. However, the thing I took from it all was this: I am so important to Heavenly Father that He allowed her to change the course of her message to answer MY question because He cares about me that much. She was talking TO me FOR Heavenly Father. I will never forget that experience. Afterwards I went up to her and thanked her over and over for following the prompting of the spirit that allowed me to get an unshakable answer that Heavenly Father loved me. We cried together. It was so special. Isn’t it great to know that He hears every single one of our prayers and that He will do whatever He has to do for us to get our answers and for us to understand we got them? 

-I saw Vanilla Cokes on sale somewhere we went and got one simply because it made me think of Emily Grace and our love for them. Yep. Yall might assume I never think of you anymore, but you’re darn wrong :)

-While having a lesson this week with a grandpa and 3 little boys the 7 year old of the bunch, after the older 2 getting a little rowdie (and yes I know that’s not how you spell rowdy, but that’s how we spelt it in cheerleading so it just feels right ;p) he stands up and goes “Ok. We are getting off track!” HAHAH. So great. 

-Sister Van Heel and I were talking during lunch the day before Zone Conference and I asked her what she was wearing to it, she told me she didn’t know and I responded (in all seriousness…which is the part that makes this sad hahah) “Look. We’ve already talked about laying out your clothes at night.” She makes me feel like a mom haha. I guess it’s good practice? :p

-WE GET TO DRIVE A JEEP NOW. WHAAAAWHOOOOO. I seriously get to drive nicer cars on my mission than I’ll ever own in my life. Love the mission life. And thankful we have a car!

-Our Zone Leaders had to come get something from our house and at some point in the conversation we brought up how Vicky gave us those awesome fur coats last week…I think you already know where this is going.

-President Hobbs said ‘Yall’ on Friday. Warmed my little heart. 

-After a really long and busy week of mostly service and meetings and feeling like we hadn’t got to do much teaching at all we had 13 honkin’ people at church on Sunday. It was the most incredible feeling to be sitting there and to keep seeing more and more people walk in that you never thought would come. We couldn’t thank Heavenly Father enough the rest of the day for that miracle. Shoot! I’m STILL thankin’ Him! It’s just proof to me that no work goes unnoticed to Him and that hard work will always pay off, even if you don’t get to see that until the eternities. 

Sister Hobbs on Friday asked us “If you were to go a week without food how would you feel?”

Elder Coburn (who I love and miss dearly): “DEAD.”

Well, that’s how we will feel when we don’t feed our spirit. We have GOT to be reading our scriptures, praying and obeying the commandments daily. We are literally a THREAT to Satan as we study daily. We can’t think we can go weeks or even DAYS without that spiritual nourishment. I want yall to try harder this week to spiritual feed yourselves. Ok? 

We met with a part member family this week. The mom is a non-member and her son is leaving for his mission in like 2 weeks. My heart went out to her. Yes, I know it’s hard for my mom and many others to send their “baby” out into the world with little communication and knowing they will have hard times and such. But at least they get it. They have the gospel in their lives. They KNOW the importance of letting us go out and share it with everyone. This poor mom had no idea. She doesn’t have the gospel. She is scared silly and I love that she is allowing her son to leave even though she doesn’t get it. That’s faith. It makes me even more thankful for the gospel though. It’s there to heal our broken hearts, give us peace and reassurance and to help us see the bigger picture of it all. 

It’s starting to get pretty chilly up here in the Hi-Desert, so I want to go to a bonfire. NBD though…there’s time for allla that at a later day :) I can’t believe I only have 4 transfers left. I know there’s still a lot of work left for me to do in this area. Oh and btw: after 12 long months of questioning where I need to live after my mission and after making the decision to not think about it anymore 4 months ago…I know I need to be in Utah. When it comes to school I got no earthly idea, but I know I need to be in Utah. Phew. How’s that for a public announcement? LOVE YALL! <3

-hugs-

Sister Toolan

The greatest GOOD BYE hug ever from Sister Havens!

Show me some LOVE!

I’m honestly not really sure how to explain this past week. I guess bipolar would be a good word??

Sister Havens & Price go home Monday:(

We were helping an elderly lady this week and I had an interesting experience while there. So her dog had just gotten back from the vets because she had a loooooot going wrong for her. She got back with a shaven bum (they had to do surgery or something? Idk haha) and had a rash and such. Well the other dog had been crying the whole time she was gone and was SO excited to see her be back home. He literally went up to her, kissing and trying to love on her (the hurt dog) and homegirl snapped at him SO badly. She growled and scared him. It wasn’t til then that I realized how much that related to us humans. There are times when we are so hurt/down/sad/depressed and someone comes around to try and comfort us and we completely backlash at them. The worst part is it’s always to the ones that love us the most that we do this to.

President Monson said “Brothers and sisters, some of our greatest opportunities to demonstrate our love will be within the walls of our own homes. Love should be the very heart of family life, and yet sometimes it is not. There can be too much impatience, too much arguing, too many fights, too many tears. Lamented President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Why is it that the [ones] we love [most] become so frequently the targets of our harsh words? Why is it that [we] sometimes speak as if with daggers that cut to the quick?”9 The answers to these questions may be different for each of us, and yet the bottom line is that the reasons do not matter. If we would keep the commandment to love one another, we must treat each other with kindness and respect.”

I have thought since then about how horrible I’ve treated people in the past and how much I want to do better. I want to accept love from other. I want to allow others in. I think that I’ve been so hurt in my past that I automatically assume everyone will let me down and when I do that I don’t allow good things to happen. I just want to show those that I love how much I truly love them. Because I do. I love yall.

Some miracles:

-A lady of the church paid for our groceries on Monday at Walmart. She isn’t even in our ward or anything, she just saw the good ole’ name tags. That was a 1^st time for me! I didn’t want to let her, but then she pulled the whole “Please let me. I’d hope someone would do the same for my son.” So I couldn’t say no :( No worries though, we already wrote her a thank you letter, did some stalking (which missionaries are great at ;p) to find her address and put that bad boy in the mail today!

-Had interviews with President. Those are always so great :)

-One of the older ladies we work that that has dementia yelled at her husband talking about Sister Van Heel and I “RON. THOSE ARE MY GIRLS!!!!!!” Oh, dear. How I love sweet little spirits like that :)

-After a HORRIBLE day Saturday we went to one of our investigators house who was ALSO having a rough day. It was so strange because we are all so upbeat and happy all the time, but we were down in the dumps. Luckily, after a while we all got silly and she ended up giving us these AWESOME fur coats and taking bomb pictures with us hahaha. It honestly wouldn’t have been so stinkin’ hilarious had it not been such a bad day, so I’m grateful for that hard time!!!

You think you fancy ugh?

-A few of our investigators came to church for the 1^st time finally :)

-While at a members house last night for dinner he said such a nice prayer. In it he thanked Heavenly Father for our families and them ‘allowing their beautiful daughters to come out to share their light with us.’ After he held our hands and said “You tell your parents I say thank you tomorrow. We are so thankful to have you here. You have no idea how much your smile means every time we see you. You’re such a blessing to this area right now. You are beautiful. Tell them thank you.” <3 <3 <3 <3

-Quelf is an AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS board game that I would encourage any family to purchase. Just sayin’ hahah.

Sister Van Heel helped me have an AHHA moment this week. Before I go on I should probably let you know I love that girl. She is great. I’m thankful she likes to laugh as much as I do and that we know how to be open with one another :) anywho. So my WHOLE mission I have had companions that when I ask them how I can improve, they never have anything. Then I sit there like “WOMAN. I knoooow I ain’t no saint. I’m crazy as a run over dog. PLEASE tell me what I can do so I can be better. PLEASE.” I’ve struggled with that but Sister Van Heel opened my eyes a little. She said “Sister Toolan, God knows YOU point out enough things to fix in yourself.” We talked about it and it’s true. I see SO many things to improve on daily and I think if I had someone adding to my already HUGE list I wouldn’t be able to function from feeling so worthless. Heavenly Father knew alllllll along what kind of companions I needed. GO FIGURE. I will never complain about that again.

We twins!

We were asked this week how to know if our mission was successful or not and a few things came to mind. The one that has had the biggest impact on me however was the fact that I’ll know if it was a success if I come home and continue to share the gospel. If I learned how important sharing my testimony is, how powerful missionary work is and the joy that comes from the gospel then it’ll have been successful. I want to come home and never stop being a missionary. I want to come home and tell alllllll of you how crucial this is for you, what Heavenly Fathers plan is for you and how much you need the gospel. Because you DO! We ALL do!!!

I love my mission. I love changing. I love know Heavenly Father will always forgive me, no matter what. I love that my family is a forever family now. I love all of my old companions. It makes me sad that all of my favorites keep leaving me, but I’m thankful Heavenly Father allowed me to have them while I did :) hey, stay golden pony boys. Don’t forget to say your prayers.

-hugs-

Sister Toolan

Beautiful Beautiful sunset

My gurlllll!!!!!

Beware - Weapons of War

I want to start by saying I love yall. I really do. Anyways.

Monday- Got taken to Applebees for dinner for the 1^st time on my mission. No, it’s not the best tasting place, but it made me think of all the times my friends & I would go during the summer past 9 for cheap wings and it made me happy. Memories are something that means so much to me. Sappy, I know. That’s life for ya :) Also, I got new stamps…they are a little scary, and semi-disturbing hahah, but that’s all they had. So just a warning to all you great people that write me.

Tuesday- I must tell you before I quote myself that in the mission when you train a new missionary they occasionally will refer to you as “mom” and they are your “daughter”. Well, since Sister Van Heel had already been trained 6 weeks (you get trained for 12) when I got her, she technically became my “step-daughter”. So that night she was doing something funny to annoy me and I busted out with “Listen up, woman. Imma bout to beat you like the red headed step child that you are!!!!!!” We have a good time together. Hahahhaa. I feel like that’s one of the blessings I’ve experienced with all of my companions. No matter how different we were or how much we got under each other’s skin at times, we ALWAYS knew how to laugh and just fool around. I think that’s so important in every relationship whatever the situation may be. Humor is a good thing.

Wednesday- I got told that I have “lioness eyes”? Not sure what that meant, but he said it was an AWESOME thing haha. The member that we live with got home from her 9 day vacation and it was so nice to come home to someone again. Have I ever told you how much I love living with members??

Thursday- We made some Halloween cupcakes that momma sent me in a package. We figured it would give us a really good excuse to stop by and see some people that we teach :)

Crazy story from this day: President Hobbs taught us something kinda cool a while back. It says in the seminary book, a lot more eloquently that I can put it “After years of preaching the gospel, Ammon praised the Lord and expressed gratitude for the blessing of being an instrument in His hands to bring the gospel to the Lamanites. Many Lamanites began to believe in the Lord, repented, and called themselves the Anti-Nephi-Lehies. After the Anti-Nephi-Lehies made a covenant with God to never again take up weapons of war”

These people were blood thirsty people who fought ALL the time, but because they were SO converted to the Lord they buried there weapons in order to prove that love to Him. He then related it to us missionaries and how we all have our own “weapons of war” or things that distract us from the work/keep us from having a good relationship with God. For all of you it could be something like spending too much time on social networking sites which makes you think you don’t have enough time to pray at night, or maybe you work so much that you feel too tired to read from the scriptures daily, maybe you KNOW there is a certain sin that you don’t want to give up but know you should, whatever the case may be we all have them. So occasionally we will do what President invited all us missionaries to do and invite the members to “lay down their weapons of war”. So first off, I want to invite all of YOU to evaluate your life really quick. Figure out what your own weapon of war is and if you can’t pick one, pray and ask Heavenly Father which one is most important for you to do NOW and do it. Bury it deep. Love the Lord so much that you’re willing to give up something of this world that you hang onto…

Anyways…the funny part of the story………after sharing this message with a member and after much awkwardness the whole dinner she takes us outside to show us what her ex roommate had left behind…it was this bad boy!!

She got SO excited…a little TOO excited about how she was going to legitimately bury her weapon of war after we left…she said we had inspired her and this was going to be AWESOME….oh. my. Gosh. It was hilarious. She is crazy. Life is good.

Friday- HALLOWEEN. Oh, yeah, just as a little disclaimer really quick since we got asked this question about a million times this week: members of our church ARE allowed to celebrate Halloween. Ok. So we took cupcakes to lots of people this day and it was awesome. I love making people feel remembered and love. So much power in that :) Katherine told me I “have the voice of an angel” and I was like WHOA. I wish hahaha. Super sweet. All the missionaries had to be in by 6 that night so yeah. PARTAY. Not. We planned…haha.

Halloween Night - kind of scary!

Saturday- BLAKE AND BELLA GOT BAPTIZED!!!! I taught them while I was in Hesperia so I got to go back for it. They asked me to sing so I couldn’t decline! Bella was so precious…she held my hand the whole time. I missed that little girl. It was a special baptism. The spirit was strong. When I had to leave bella wouldn’t let go of me haha. Those are the moments I live for as a missionary. It was nice getting to see all of my old missionary friends there too. Mini reunion WHOOP WHOOP.

I had a huge eye opener after a lesson with a 70 year old woman this day. That lesson was proof to me that as long as we, as missionaries, prepare ourselves for lessons that God will take control. We went in reading Mosaih 18 and she ended up opening up and asking questions about the 1^st part of the Book of Mormon she’d read. Sure, that chapter wasn’t what she needed, but we followed the spirit in not just teaching a lesson and it allowed her to be open with us and let us in. Heavenly Father allowed the situation to go the way it needed to because HE is in control of the work going on. Not us. Especially not ME. Also, in the lesson I was prompted to something I’ve never said in a lesson before; the little “Missionary: someone who leaves their family for 2 two years so others can be with theirs for eternity.” She literally gasped and said WOW. Heavenly Father works through us. He won’t stop the work, especially with a daughter of his that is so close to finding the truth for herself. I love this work. I love the trust we can put in the Savior to provide a way for us to help bring his children back to Him.

Sunday- One of our investigators FINALLY came to church and LOVED it. More goodness happened but that’ll have to be told some other time :)

All in all it was a great week. Lots of laughing. Lots of learning. This week we have interviews with President so I’m pumped. I hope yall get something, truly GET something out of my post every now and then. Misssssssss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

-hugs-

Sister Toolan

Is it Halloween or Christmas time?????

Yay for Joshua trees....NOT!

HOWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So.

-I got my flu shot this week. I did NOT want to. I have never gotten one before and never ended up catching the flu…then when we went to the MTC and HAD to get one….I caught it on my mission last Christmas time. President & Sister Hobbs asked us to all get one though and since I love them and want to be obedient to them I did…it swole up and was super HOT! I better not get it again this year……-__-

-Saw my 1^st set of Christmas lights already out. YAY!! Tis the season!!! Probably an awkward house for kids to go trick or treatin’ at this year, but hey, it is what it is hahah.

-Met and got a signed autograph of one of the pirates off of Pirates of the Caribbean hahah. He said he just got a call to go film for “P5” in Australia hahha. Pretty random.

-Sister Van Heel and I had to stop by the house to pick up something we forgot and while trying to get in we could NOT get the door to unlock. That door is so stubborn it isn’t even funny haha. Anyways, we reallllllly had to get goin’ but that thing was NOT budging. We had both been saying little prayers, but it wasn’t until we became unified in purpose as a companionship that the Lord answered us. I prayed that we would be able to think of a way to get it unlocked somehow…after trying more the thought came “why don’t you go ask for help…like from a neighbor.” We felt pretty stupid going next door and asking, but we did, shoot. If Heavenly Father gives you resources, ya gotta use all of them!!! She came over and without even trying got the door to open. There was obviously a reason we couldn’t get in. Maybe we needed to meet her, maybe she just needed someone to tell her how great she was (because I PROMISE you we were like praising her haha) or maybe she just needed to come into contact with two crazy Mormon missionaries and realize they are normal so when the day comes that they knock on her door she is willing to let them in. WHO KNOWS. All I do know is there isn’t a single mistake in Heavenly Fathers plan!!!!

-Sister Van Heel and I had a very dramatic/traumatic experience with a black widow. That is all.

-The very next day ANOTHER dramatic/traumatic experience occurred. I was sitting reading when I heard Sis Van Heel SCREAM. I thought she was joking around, but when I came into the kitchen and my socks started to soak up water I realized…we had a bubble pond goin’. It was one of those things that all you could do was laugh about it haha. I guess Sister Van Heel thought it was okay to put Dawn Dishwashing soap in the dishwasher and it overflowed/exploded with suds. Oh boy. So, word from the wise: NEVER EVER USE DISHSOAP FOR DISHWASHING PURPOSES IN THE DISHWASHER! Unless, of course, you want a bubble pond in your kitchen..then you can hahah.  

-Taught an investigator about the 10 commandments and went pretty into “not taking the Lords name in vain”. We told her that could mean many things like not cussing but it especially meant not saying Gods name in any way that isn’t reverent. Two days later we were over and she screamed “OH MY GOSH!!!” it sounds simple and silly, but that made us SO happy to hear. We had been praying so hard for her that she could change her habit of saying it in vain and there ya go!!!

Ok, two more important things before I have to get off.

1.       THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE THAT PARTICAPTED IN THAT CUTE LITTLE BOOK MY MOM PUT TOGETHER FOR MY ONE YEAR MARK. It was so nice to see all your sweet faces :) It made me happy because some of the faces I was scared had forgotten about me, but it proved me wrong :) I look at the book a ton now…it made me cry the 1^st time, but now it just makes me smile and smile and smile. My one year was great! It ended perfectly as I got a phone call from my last companion (Cauble) inviting me to a baptism this next weekend for someone we taught!! YAY! We sat and laughed and laughed on the phone. I miss that girl. I’m so excited to get to see some more of my favorites this weekend :) as I prayed that night I realized that there was still a lot of things that I need to change/learn in the last 6 months that I have to be a missionary and that I need to get to work to become aware of it all. I know how much I’ve grown in the last 6 months since getting transferred for the 1^st time and know there’s even more to do. There’s no better time than now.

2.       KATHERINE GOT BAPTIZED LAST NIGHT! Alright, so remember a few weeks ago when I told you we came home to a note on our door saying someone wanted to start being taught, then we set a baptism date with her? Well that was her. As of her baptism day we taught her a total of 2 weeks and 1 day.

Talk about stressful trying to teach her everything she needed to know, but it was incredible. That’s a once in a lifetime sorta thing for me hahha. Its NEVER that fast. Craziest part is that she was 100% ready in even that short of time. Heavenly Father had been preparing her for a while now.

Sister Van Heel and I matched on purpose:)

Her husband was able to receive the preiesthood yesterday and got to baptize her. His first baptism. How precious. AAAH! After the baptism we were talking to her husband and he said she came home the other day after one of our lessons and said “I don’t know if they (talking about Van Heel and I) are my mothers, my sisters or my friends. They sit there and teach me SO much, yet they are my best friends and at the same time I’m teaching them a little here and there.” That was so great to hear. It’s safe to say that all the people we teach teach us more than we teach them. Their faith and desire to become like the Savior pushes me to do better. To work harder. To have more trust in the Lord. It was a special/hectic day. We ate breakfast and didn’t get home like 8 that night. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I loved watching her change in even just the last 2 weeks. I love being a missionary.

Ok, I could go on and on, but you knooooooooooow I done ran outta time!!! Thank you again for everyones letters/emails/help in getting the book done for my year mark. I’ve been blessed beyond belief. I love yall. Keep it real.

-hugs-

Sister Toolan

I saw a lot more of that pumpkin man than I wanted to :)

The Lord won’t give me, you or any one of His children something they can’t handle

It’s been a pretty good week. Pretty not so great morning/day…like, at all. But hey, ya win some ya lose some right? I don’t tell you this to be negative or to get pity. I do so simply so you can understand that I’m still human and get those ‘off days’ just like everyone else. Being a missionary does NOT make you prone to those kinds of things, sadly. Blah. Anywho, on to telling you how my week went!!!

GOOD MOMENT OF THE WEEK: (I promise I was not being serious when I said it though lol) Sister Van Heel and I were talking about the desert and Joshua Trees. I told her I didn’t understand why everyone always freaks out about them…they aren’t THAT cool.

Sis Van Heel: “It’s cuz they are super stinkin’ rare!!!”

Me: “Well that’s just AWESOME. IIIII’MM rare. People don’t act like that when they see me!!!!”

Yes. It’s safe to say we had a good chuckle after that one. Man, the things that come out of my mouth sometimes…

Some random things that made me happy this week:

-A member gave us some fresh laid eggs from their chickens! 1. DANG GOOD 2. FREE. Can’t get any better than that :)

-One of our ward mates is allowing us to borrow his GPS for a little since they are on bike, which is really nice considering we always get lost. Lol. But really.

-My $10 watch from Walmart that I got at the very beginning of my mission finally semi-broke. It made me feel like I am warring’ it out and that’s a good feeling as a missionary lol.

-I finished reading the New Testament for the 1^st time in my life. Whoop whoop!!

-Some Jehovah Witnesses knocked on OUR door this weekend. They were so surprised when we opened up. Even more shocked when we were nice to them and encouraged them. It was great.

-Got to help a family in the ward set up for their little girls Frozen birthday partaaaay! It made the members really trust/love us and we had a jolly ole’ time acting like little kids. Sis. Van Heel and I kept joking around about how we were going to steal their (the Frozen girls that came) wigs and take away the show…I told her I was nervous because I’d never stolen a wig before…hahaha. It was great and made us all giddy!!!

Add FROZEN PARTY!!!! Yes, she awkwardly groped my arm…?

Dusted with Snow

-While reading a little handout out loud during church on Sunday I came across the word “nothing” and without even thinking about it, after JUST telling Sister VanHeel I don’t have that much of an accent, I read “nothin’” loud and proud. I thought I would die. I couldn’t believe it. It just came out. #southernatheart what can I say? She gave me crap for that later. Haha.

There was one day this last week that we went and visited soooooooooo many people. We had like 7 lessons that day, which may not sound like a lot but that is a TON for me in a day. While visiting these people they would tell us of their struggles or we’d see it all over their face. I was so overwhelmed. I am the kind of person that loves anyone and everyone and because of that I want to fix everyone’s problems. And I can’t. I even asked Heavenly Father after leaving one ladys’ house why He couldn’t just give ME all of their trials/hardships. Something I’ve asked Him before while being a missionary. My whole mission there’s been times when the people around me have such horrible things going on in their life that I want to do that: take it away from them and give it to myself, but I realized later that night how selfish that was of me…that would mean ridding those people I love of a chance to fully lean on the Lord, to strengthen their relationship with Him and to gain experience for themselves. I know the Lord won’t give me, you or any one of His children something they can’t handle. That night in prayer I cried and cried. I was so overcome with how grateful I was that the Lord was allowing me to see a little of how He feels every.single.day as He watches us struggle, cry, get hurt & embarrassed. He allowed me to feel a tiny portion of Godly sorrow that He feels daily. If I love these people this much, He loves us that much more. Such an eye opener for me.

One of our investigators stopped us in the middle of our lesson and with tears in her eyes told us how “great of a team” Sister Van Heel and I are. She told us that the difference in personalities is perfect and that she couldn’t have learned from anyone else. Talk about great to hear!!! It was cool to see, as always, that Heavenly Father knows JUST what He’s doing.

It was also a miracle at the end of that lesson because we asked HER to pray and typically she gets really realllllly nervous and anxious to pray, but she did it like it was nothing and after told us she didn’t even think about it this time!!! AAH! Plus, it’s really nice because we started teaching her RIGHT when I got here, so that 1^st Sunday she came to church I was able to relate to her in the sense of “it’s okay. I don’t know anyone or know where anything is either. We are in this together!” Her and I truly are getting to know everyone together and I know it helps her to know that she isn’t the only newbie. It might stink, but if it’s helpin’ her, I’ll take it!!!

Alrighty, one last thing!!! We were reading the Book of Mormon with another one of our investigators and something stood out to me. We read in 1 Nephi 1:

17 But I shall make an account of my proceedings in my days. Behold, I make an abridgment of the record of my father, upon plates which I have made with mine own hands; wherefore, after I have abridged the record of my father then will I make an account of mine own life.

In this scripture Nephi talks about making, with his own hands, the plates to record on. Nephi didn’t live in the day of texting, internet and cyber space or even pen and paper for goodness sakes!! He had to go through a LOT of trouble to MAKE and RECORD all that he did. He was out in the wildnerness makin’ dadgum brass plates out of who knows what, but he did it and he did it willingly because it had been commanded of him by God to do for our benefit. His ‘journal’ per say is so precious to me. I am thankful he was obedient. I am thankful for his example.

Welp, it looks like I am outta time for now….so until next week….BYEBYE NOOBS!!!  As my momma would say, love yall bunches all I got :)

-hugs-

Sister Toolan

 

Our view this morning on the hike…see the desert CAN be pretty

It’s not hard to be obedient; it’s hard to NOT be obedient

I feel more than blessed right now it isn't even funny. The new area that I'm in has SO much work, so little time. Not even close to joking. I tell ya what though, that's the best problem I've had in a while!

Speaking of problems, I have this one where I get really, reallllllly nervous about the future. Like I sit up at night thinking...thinking...and doing more thinking. OVER thinking is of the devil. I ain't even playin!! Anywho, I mostly get nervous because I know going home means I have a lot of decision making to do. And if you know me, you know I HATE (ok, just kidding. I mean I really disLIKE..(I'm working on not saying 'hate' anymore) making decisions. It stresses me out. I know now after the mission, if I have served the Lord well and have done all I could in bringing people back to Him by sharing the gospel, Heavenly Father will guide me in my every decision I have to make. I know  the blessings of my service will bless my life, not only in this life here on earth, but also in the life to come. I know I need to just focus, not worry about the future, take one step at a time and embrace the time I have to devote all of my time and attention on serving the Lord.

I lalalaLOVE when members will watch us as we walk out to our car and won’t go in until we are in the car with it started and everything. It makes me think of my daddy watching to make sure everything is okay before he sends me off. It always puts a smile on my face :)

Some things that hit me hard this week:

-Our obedience shows our relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ. What we are willing to do because we don’t want to let Them down. “It’s not hard to be obedient; it’s hard to NOT be obedient.” Once you know the blessings that come, you see you can’t live without those blessings.

-I truly believe training is more for the trainer than anything. It makes you ponder on all the things you’ve learned and the experiences you’ve had with certain things to help you see the importance and also growth in yourself and missionary work.

-since technically stress is GOOD it explains why people that don’t have anything going on in life like work, school, social life, etc.…are miserable. We NEED stress. We need challenges and tough times in our lives.

-I don’t think it’s fair to say ‘people can’t change’. Being on a mission has proven that to be false. Sure, you shouldn’t go into something like marriage thinking you can change the person, but because of Christs atonement and the way He works, we are fully capable of changing, for the better, for good.

Random: I'm not sure if I told you this or not but while I was in my last area we got Italian food (a variety of spaghetti and lasagna) and root beer floats every.single.night. for like 3 weeks straight. It was..hmmmmm. Not the best 3 weeks of my life hahaha. I think if I died without having either of those two items again in my life I'd be JUST fine!!!

Oh Elders!!!!!!

Wednesday- Went to lunch with 2 older gals and had tons of laughs. At one point the 79 year old told us “I gotta 52 year old boyfriend right now, girls. Well, kindof. I dumped him. He calls….I don’t answer! I know it bothers him!!!” AHHAHAH she still playiiiin the gammmmmme! #yougogirl

We went to meet with a lady the sisters had talked to before and while we were there I was amazed. We didn't know this before but the woman had a daughter that was a member of the church. She also had a grandson out on a mission in Brazil. The best part was she knew her grandson emails home back and forth. She talked about how happy he is. We explained why he was. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. She showed us a Book of Mormon that her daughter had sent her once and I sat there realizing HOW important it is to share the gospel, especially with our family. I know there was more I could have done before my mission and that there is a ton of work to do when I get home. We have no clue how much the little ways we live our life influences others. We have no idea just have many would be receptive to our unique message to the world if only we would tell them what it is.

Also, while there my heart broke. She told us she was raised to believe that she wasn’t good/worthy enough to pray directly to God himself, so she had to through “the saints” and they’d relay the message to Him. HOW SAD :( Heavenly Father loves us all so much regardless of how we are behaving or anything. He wants to hear directly from us. I couldn’t believe there are a ton of people walking around who believe that. All the more reason to get out there and spread the good news :)

I realized I’m not an emotional wreck, I’m just an emotional person. Does that make sense? It does to me. I don’t go around crying all day because I’m sad and life is horrible, things just touch me allllllllll the time and my response is always tears hahah. Just wanted to share this piece of information with you haha.

Thursday- COOLEST THING OF MY LIFE HAPPENED! When Elder Kacher came  and talked to our mission a few weeks ago he pretty much promised us we would find people to teach if only we would do what we are supposed to be doing by asking EVERYONE for referrals. Well, that’s something I’m really bad at but last week I challenged myself to putting him to the test. I asked everyone, everyone. Even people we were meeting on the street and still no one was giving us names. Either way, I just kept asking. SO…drum roll please……we get home this night and the member we live with had taped a note to our door. What was on the note you might ask? A MESSAGE TELLING US THAT THERE WAS A WOMAN WHO WAS MARRIED TO A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH WHO WANTED US TO CALL HER AND START TEACHING HER. 

We met with her 2 days later and while  explain that it’s important to go to church to get her answer about the truthfulness of our message she goes “oh…no, that’s not a problem. At all. I already know it is. I just need to do what I need to in order to get baptized.” WHAT?!?!?! We set a baptismal date with her there and then. She came to church and while there was asked if she was visiting..homegirl goes “nope, I’m here to stay!!!” :D I can’t even. I know that she was sent to us as a testimony that if we’ll do what Preach My Gospel and leaders ask us to do, our Heavenly Father will bless us, in His owns ways and in His own time.

Friday- I woke up, worked out, everything was fine…and then during studies I got sick. I “got sick” a few times :( as always it made me a little homesick. But it made me even more upset that we weren’t going to get to go out and work anymore. I hate knowing there are people who need our visits when we can’t make it. This work is so important to me now. Luckily, my district leader came over and gave me probably the most powerful, beautiful priesthood blessing I’ve ever had. I slept a few hours and we went back out to work!!! Everything was great and dandy until we went out in the boonies for a lesson. It was dark, there were dirt roads, no lights and no cell phone reception. We drove around on dirt roads for 40 mins haha. Yeah…Never ended up making it to the lesson. We decided going on dirt roads we don’t know at night might not be the brightest thing to do ever again. Ya live and ya learn ;p

Hesperia Zone

Sunday- church was so wonderful. Everyone was so welcoming and loving. I felt right at home :) One of our investigators (I hadn’t met yet) walked in and guess what??!?! SHE HAS A NUB (shorter arm) LIKE MY DADDY :D AAAAAAH! I LOVED HER INSTANTLY!!!!! I’m so excited.

I can’t wait to update you on life next week! I love yall. BE SILLY FOR AT LEAST 5 MINS EVERY DAY :)

-hugs-

Sister Toolan