Show me some LOVE!

I’m honestly not really sure how to explain this past week. I guess bipolar would be a good word??

Sister Havens & Price go home Monday:(

We were helping an elderly lady this week and I had an interesting experience while there. So her dog had just gotten back from the vets because she had a loooooot going wrong for her. She got back with a shaven bum (they had to do surgery or something? Idk haha) and had a rash and such. Well the other dog had been crying the whole time she was gone and was SO excited to see her be back home. He literally went up to her, kissing and trying to love on her (the hurt dog) and homegirl snapped at him SO badly. She growled and scared him. It wasn’t til then that I realized how much that related to us humans. There are times when we are so hurt/down/sad/depressed and someone comes around to try and comfort us and we completely backlash at them. The worst part is it’s always to the ones that love us the most that we do this to.

President Monson said “Brothers and sisters, some of our greatest opportunities to demonstrate our love will be within the walls of our own homes. Love should be the very heart of family life, and yet sometimes it is not. There can be too much impatience, too much arguing, too many fights, too many tears. Lamented President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Why is it that the [ones] we love [most] become so frequently the targets of our harsh words? Why is it that [we] sometimes speak as if with daggers that cut to the quick?”9 The answers to these questions may be different for each of us, and yet the bottom line is that the reasons do not matter. If we would keep the commandment to love one another, we must treat each other with kindness and respect.”

I have thought since then about how horrible I’ve treated people in the past and how much I want to do better. I want to accept love from other. I want to allow others in. I think that I’ve been so hurt in my past that I automatically assume everyone will let me down and when I do that I don’t allow good things to happen. I just want to show those that I love how much I truly love them. Because I do. I love yall.

Some miracles:

-A lady of the church paid for our groceries on Monday at Walmart. She isn’t even in our ward or anything, she just saw the good ole’ name tags. That was a 1^st time for me! I didn’t want to let her, but then she pulled the whole “Please let me. I’d hope someone would do the same for my son.” So I couldn’t say no :( No worries though, we already wrote her a thank you letter, did some stalking (which missionaries are great at ;p) to find her address and put that bad boy in the mail today!

-Had interviews with President. Those are always so great :)

-One of the older ladies we work that that has dementia yelled at her husband talking about Sister Van Heel and I “RON. THOSE ARE MY GIRLS!!!!!!” Oh, dear. How I love sweet little spirits like that :)

-After a HORRIBLE day Saturday we went to one of our investigators house who was ALSO having a rough day. It was so strange because we are all so upbeat and happy all the time, but we were down in the dumps. Luckily, after a while we all got silly and she ended up giving us these AWESOME fur coats and taking bomb pictures with us hahaha. It honestly wouldn’t have been so stinkin’ hilarious had it not been such a bad day, so I’m grateful for that hard time!!!

You think you fancy ugh?

-A few of our investigators came to church for the 1^st time finally :)

-While at a members house last night for dinner he said such a nice prayer. In it he thanked Heavenly Father for our families and them ‘allowing their beautiful daughters to come out to share their light with us.’ After he held our hands and said “You tell your parents I say thank you tomorrow. We are so thankful to have you here. You have no idea how much your smile means every time we see you. You’re such a blessing to this area right now. You are beautiful. Tell them thank you.” <3 <3 <3 <3

-Quelf is an AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS board game that I would encourage any family to purchase. Just sayin’ hahah.

Sister Van Heel helped me have an AHHA moment this week. Before I go on I should probably let you know I love that girl. She is great. I’m thankful she likes to laugh as much as I do and that we know how to be open with one another :) anywho. So my WHOLE mission I have had companions that when I ask them how I can improve, they never have anything. Then I sit there like “WOMAN. I knoooow I ain’t no saint. I’m crazy as a run over dog. PLEASE tell me what I can do so I can be better. PLEASE.” I’ve struggled with that but Sister Van Heel opened my eyes a little. She said “Sister Toolan, God knows YOU point out enough things to fix in yourself.” We talked about it and it’s true. I see SO many things to improve on daily and I think if I had someone adding to my already HUGE list I wouldn’t be able to function from feeling so worthless. Heavenly Father knew alllllll along what kind of companions I needed. GO FIGURE. I will never complain about that again.

We twins!

We were asked this week how to know if our mission was successful or not and a few things came to mind. The one that has had the biggest impact on me however was the fact that I’ll know if it was a success if I come home and continue to share the gospel. If I learned how important sharing my testimony is, how powerful missionary work is and the joy that comes from the gospel then it’ll have been successful. I want to come home and never stop being a missionary. I want to come home and tell alllllll of you how crucial this is for you, what Heavenly Fathers plan is for you and how much you need the gospel. Because you DO! We ALL do!!!

I love my mission. I love changing. I love know Heavenly Father will always forgive me, no matter what. I love that my family is a forever family now. I love all of my old companions. It makes me sad that all of my favorites keep leaving me, but I’m thankful Heavenly Father allowed me to have them while I did :) hey, stay golden pony boys. Don’t forget to say your prayers.

-hugs-

Sister Toolan

Beautiful Beautiful sunset

My gurlllll!!!!!